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I'll tell you what, never again.' The joke was later slammed as 'unfunny' on web forums. One Poll.com, the organisation behind the research, said: 'The majority of these jokes are clean and genuinely funny - but a lot are pretty subjective and what one person finds hilarious, someone else may not.''It's nice to see jokes from the greats like Tommy Cooper and Les Dawson are still up there and the ugly baby tale is a worthy winner.''Many of the jokes in the list are fairly timeless and will still be making people chuckle in thirty years or more.'''Tim Vine's Edinburgh Fringe Festival's joke is neither belly-laughing funny nor is it particularly shocking or controversial so it's surprising it was voted the best joke of the festival.'Being able to tell a joke is a fine art and telling a classic joke correctly in a pub full of people can be tricky.' Comedian Tim Vine smashed the world record for most jokes told in an hour with 499, beating the previous record of 362. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. 'I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one". My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked. 'I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?

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We hope you have a donut to eat or a dog to pet after reading this, because we’re fairly certain this study on the number of germs that live on the average grocery shopping cart will make you a little sad.

According to the “Germs at the Grocery Store” report from Reuse This Bag.com, the shopping cart at a traditional grocery store contains 361 times more bacteria than a bathroom doorknob — and we all know what goes on in the bathroom. At a budget grocery store, the bacteria count on shopping carts is 270 times higher than on a toilet handle, and at an upscale grocery store, shopping carts have about as many germs on them as a keyboard.

“Overall the produce had more gram-negative rods than refrigerator doors, which is really intriguing.”“I realize now how important it is to rinse your produce thoroughly,” she adds.

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Part of the company’s model is to supplement its perishable stocks with weekly promotions of non-food items, from power tools to kitchen appliances, which are available at outstanding costs as long as stock lasts.

The cycling gear, which launched as part of the company’s third cycle of such specials, is part of Lidl’s (pronounced lee-duhl) Crivit sportswear line.