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As I discuss in my free online dating guide, successful online dating relies in part on making great first impressions.

Whether the first impression is in the photos you select for your profile, how you describe yourself, or the first email you write, taking time to make the best first impression is important.

I don't usually start off a post with the impact points right at the beginning.

But I want to lay these out first -- because they're so vital to solid message writing -- and we'll get into the "whys" and the "hows" in a moment.

How important is it to write a good online dating first email?

The answer to that may seem obvious, but just in case it isn’t let me say: writing a great first message in online dating is critical to success or failure in your dating life.

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Your hands can get moist and your heart may pound in anticipation of what she might say.

A one-sentence message probably isn’t saying enough, but you also don’t want to send a novel.

Responding to a few items in a person’s profile will take somewhere between three and eight sentences; if you find yourself writing a six-paragraph missive, work that delete key.

For this discussion refers to your first message in online dating.

This will include whatever method the service you are using allows you to write a message to another member.